Feeling Overwhelmed About Your Child’s Maths?
By Heidi McGinty
Overwhelming feelings are a natural part of life. There are many things that contribute to these often, overpowering emotions such as expectations.
Our own expectations of what we think we should achieve, can impact on these feelings.
Sometimes, I can lose perspective on what I have achieved in a day. I can be madly rushing around trying to meet different peoples’ needs and complete tasks, yet feel like I have not achieved enough.
The only person who can control our own expectations is ourselves.
I find it useful to keep a checklist of the things I have achieved that day, so when I reflect on the day’s events, I have evidence of my goals.
I also have a post-it on my desk that says, ‘Be Kind To Yourself.’ Always a great reminder to keep things in perspective.
We tend to be much harder on ourselves than the people we have disappointed. Recently, I was involved in a Facebook group which was a network for business owners, who wanted to achieve specific goals. To be fair, the challenges were demanding and really did push people out of their comfort zones.
However, there was one business man called Justin, who was particularly struggling. Each online conference call or Facebook post contained negative comments from him. In the end, someone in the group challenged Justin and told him his comments were ‘bringing the group down’. This had such an impact on Justin that he did a podcast apologising and posted it on the group page. He admitted he was feeling overwhelmed by the challenges.
It was apparent that Justin was much ‘harder’ on himself, than anyone else. The whole incident was handled with respect and care and I think it was a real wake-up call for Justin. Sometimes, a nudge in the right direction is all we need to steer us back on the right course. We still need to be kind to ourselves even if we have let our overwhelming feelings control us, in an unproductive way. The good news is, Justin found himself back in alignment and continued to complete the challenges.
I’m sure we can all relate to Justin’s experience at one time or another. Relationships can also bring about overwhelming emotions especially if it is someone we care very deeply about.
As a parent, to see your own child in discomfort and hurt, is never easy. Their pain can often become your pain, as your protective instinct rises to the surface.
Parents will often approach me and disclose the unhappy experiences their child is having with Maths. The child can come home from school feeling disappointed and dismayed, if they have struggled to make sense of a Maths lesson that day.
This can become a repetitive experience and the mind plays a strange game. It can switch the thoughts for the child, so the child starts to believe they are the problem, that there is something wrong with them. As humans this is a strange, but nevertheless a common human behaviour. If these experiences are repeated over a long duration of time, such as weeks or months, the thoughts can become embedded and then a planned course of action has to take place to undo these thoughts and associations.
This is where GradeBusters Secret 10 Maths Principles can enlighten children and adults’ beliefs around Maths. These principles are so powerful that they transform understanding way beyond preconceived expectations.
If you wish to conquer your own negative views about Maths and realise your own brilliance and understanding, find out about our 10 Secret Maths Principles, that can be revealed to you. With this knowledge you will be able to empower your own child. Any child who has an understanding of these 10 principles is guaranteed to pass their GCSE exams.
The important thing to realise about overwhelming feelings is that when you start doing something, things can change quickly.
When my son was 8 years old and he experienced overwhelming feelings, I would show him the back of my mobile phone which had a fun glitter star liquid back case cover. As I turned the phone upside down the glitter would gently flow down to the bottom of the phone cover. As the glitter fell, I would say to him,
‘Feelings go, as quickly as they came.’
The distraction of the glitter would help regulate him. This method of co-regulation is very powerful when supporting children to manage their feelings. Once he had regulated it became much easier to ‘wonder out loud’ about his emotions to help him make sense of his world.
If you have any special techniques that you use to support your child’s emotions, I would love to hear about them.
In my future posts, I will share my knowledge around co-regulation and self-regulation and how this can empower you and your child to live a happy and enjoyable life.
Look out for our NEW Parent Quest that empowers parents to support their child’s journey through their mathematical journey and be top of their class.
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